CHAPTER 7

CBP Summer…

Thank God that my father allowed me to enroll in summer CBP. (There’s a story behind..) It was a great opportunity for me to go through in this university. I was not an alien in this place because I’ve already visited MSU before, since my sister and brothers were studying here. But still, I couldn’t avoid feeling inferior since I was not a Meranao. I felt like I didn’t belong. However, I tried to get along with Meranao people. And later on I’ve learned to cope up with their culture. In fact, I had a lot of acquaintance who happened to be a Meranaos. They were all nice, but there were still those who were so high pride. However, I just didn’t mind them. What’s important was that I was admitted in this university though I didn’t get it during summer CBP. I knew it from the beginning that I would be failed. That’s why I didn’t feel excited in getting the result card because I knew that I was failed. And it was really, really true! I did my best, but it seemed that my best wasn’t good enough. So when, my mom called me up on the phone and asked me about the result, I just answered her with a crying voice and she got the message right away.

I suddenly realized how insubstantial I am in math. Perhaps, my foundation in high school has something to do with it—why? Because I came from a low standard school. I mean in public school, in which such is expected to be inadequate in learning. The learning ground was so poor. And besides, I didn’t take my math seriously during high school because I got uninterested to it. Math was one of my enemies in terms of academic. So when I enrolled for CPC, I really promised to myself that by this time, I would make my performances even better. But before that, before I enrolled in CPC, I went home first, or course. I did most of the households just to my parents would allow me to proceed in my schooling. At first, they didn’t want me to continue my study for accordingly, they couldn’t support me financially. But I still insisted. I didn’t take “no” for an answer especially when it comes to my study. No matter how my mom discouraged me to not go back to I MSU, still it didn’t work, because I really didn’t want to stop. Though I wasn’t that smart, still I loved schooling. I’d still have a lot of things that I want to do in my life and I knew that the only way for me to make them come true will be education. And this was the reason why I am still struggling for my study because I wanted my parents to be proud of me someday.

I want the word to see that I can be what I really want to be!