CHAPTER 6

Third year high school…

I considered that year as one of the darkest hours of, not just my life, but of my family as well. It was the time when we were so down in terms of living. My mom got sick—not just a simple illness but a complicated one. My father, on the other hand, went to his relatives who happened to be a Chinese, and looked for a job there. Fortunately, he was hired. But the amount he earned from his work was not enough to feed eight mouths. My sister and my two brothers were already in college that time. And I didn’t really know how my parents fed us. All I just remember was that my parents had gone through a lot of sacrifices just so we could have something to feed our stomachs.

Another thing was that, I could still remember when the smart texted me that if I wouldn’t load up my phone they would block my sim card. It was then I realized how poor really we are. Imagine, for almost a month, I wasn’t able to load up my phone. I used to have load every week before, but during that time, I had really nothing… nothing at all.

My father’s salary was sometimes delayed. So we’ve just waited for months before he can send us money. One time I really pitied my mother—I really pitied us for being nothing. My mom would just buy “bulad” and “ginamus” and mixed it with coconut and then cooked it just so we could have something to eat for a week, even a month. (Imagine?) That’s what my mother did while waiting for the “padala” from my father. Chinese were really thrifty in nature, that’s why my father couldn’t send us money every month because they were really wise in spending money.

I’ve even experienced to have fasting without eating during break time. By that time, we had really nothing to eat. Something was already happening in our stomachs, but we have nothing to keep from hunger. I couldn’t complain because I understand our situation. Silently I knew that my mother was thinking the whole night, over our worst situation. Perhaps, that was one of the reason why she suffered from a complicated illness and I really felt pity on her.

Of all the difficulties and trials that we’ve encountered within the family this one was the worst among of all. because I was already aware about the things around. And I really couldn’t really avoid having self-pity. Financial problems, emotional problems—those factors were really made me a strong person. And those were also the reasons why I learned to hate my high school life. No load, no “baon”, no friends to lift me up from falling. And that’s why I just keep away from my friends because it seemed that I did no longer belong.

However, I’ve still found new friends despite it all. They were always there when I needed them. And I could say that I became happy when they became my friends. I’ve already found myself smiling—and even found the new “me” with them.

My friends I used to know before were vanished. And I didn’t want to remember my past with my old friends anymore.

April 3, 2007, at last I’ve graduated. I was so happy that finally I’ve finished my secondary. At least I would be away with my plastic friends. It was the right time to move on, and walk along with my life.